A memory of a reminder of who i am. A time when i tasted, fresh on my tongue, the most humbling sense of smallness and human frailty. And like standing on a great mountain above the world, i also simultaneously knew, in my very cells, the most immense, intimate connection with All that Is. And Love so strong my body still rides the edge of sobs when i let myself be carried, deeply, back to that place inside myself through my memory.
Some memories are filled with both heartwrenching joy and sorrow.
Most often, these are the ones that signify a a true shift in our sense of self.
Perhaps it’s a loss. A commitment. A choice. A trauma. A surprise.
The type of change you can’t go back from.
The kind of discovery and loss that make you wiser, grateful, humble.
They hold a precious truth for you that will tap on your shoulder gently, patiently,
until you abide and succumb to the inevitable integration of its lessons, gifts and challenges into your life.
Maybe you didn’t ask for this gift, maybe it didn’t end up the way you’d hoped,
maybe you don’t even know what happened for sure,
or maybe it was just what you wanted and needed – and you know that now.
The beauty of time – one of its gifts – is that you get to revisit these memories, sometimes when you want to and other times by surprise – re-experiencing the parts that make up your unique story, and that may help to shapeshift your sense of self and your life moving forward.
You see, you get to choose which parts you take from them, which details get your focus and energy –
the positive or the negative? the love or the heartache? the gratitude or the regret? the gifts or the grief?
It’s your memory. It’s your path.
What do you remember?
—————————————————– This is a musing on Week 2 of my BIG Fearless Painting journey with the amazing, Fearless leader Connie H. of Dirty Footprints Studio. This is a transforming experience about facing yourself with awareness through the practice of painting. You can read a wonderful description of Connie’s approach and another memory painting by my BIG tribe sister, Corina, right here.